Mixing it up today we are getting the 13 questions from Stevil Kinevil of All Hail The Black Market . In case you don’t know who Stevil is, you can read his email signature: “Minister of Misinformation and founder of the June 25th 2011Wizard Staffs Across The World celebration.” pretty much sums it up, you can check out his blog too, but you best be warned about what you might find there… and you best be warned about what you’ll find below, in today’s 13:

1. What would the best Hand UP be in your opinion? A suitcase full of money.

2. Would you rather give up embrocation or chamois cream?  I don’t use either. My balls and my knees are tough as nails.

3. Your favorite CX race? Nationals when it was in San Francisco’s Presideo, or the 2008 SSCXWC in Portland. I loved every minute of it right down to my final sprint with the Bike Snob for one billionth place.

4. Best looking ‘crosser you know?  Probably Brian Vernor. Have you seen that guys eyes? I could get lost in them.

5. Most embarrassing moment?  When I was in first grade, I caught the football and ran the wrong way.

6. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? Food scraps and ten cans of beer, chia seeds and a bunch of bubble water.

7. Best advice for racers? You’re not as awesome as you think you are.

8. 2 truths and 1 lie about yourself (don’t tell which is which)? I have a fourteen year old daughter named Susan who lives in Richmond California who was conceived via artificial insemination. Once when driving across Nevada in the middle of the night, I drove over a dismembered leg. I tried hanging myself with a rope that I had closed into the top of a door because there weren’t any beams to tie it from.

9. Competitor you like racing against the most? Willie K. Bullion, Rick Hunter, Robert Ives, Leroy Zampa, Devlin Downing, Scott Berg, Sean Hunt

10. What would your closest friends tell me about you? They love me in spite of me.

11. Favorite physical feature about yourself? That I’m not crippled.

12. Which is more crucial to a PB&J, the PB or the J ? To have a PB&J you pretty much need both, but if I had to go without either I suppose I’d let go of the J.

13. On a scale of 1 – 10, how fast are you? Is 1 a snail and 10 is the speed of light? I’d probably be a two. Maybe a 1.5. If you’re talking about on a bike, I have my moments. I don’t have a real competitive fire any longer. I used to have an anger that made me a pretty good bike racer. I lost that about ten years ago and no longer really feel the need to take it out on myself. Now I just loaf, but will always deliver a heroic finish no matter where I come in.